Tell Me What To Do: A Copywriting Case Study in What *Not* to Do

Verbs > nouns.

Or, put more actionably…

Use verbs that cause your audience to take action, rather than nouns that cause them to scratch their heads.

Here’s what I mean.

The Problem: There’s No CTA

Not to disparage my state’s department of revenue, but they have got to do something about this.

Here’s how they distribute their quarterly newsletter:

There are soo many things wrong with this email…

• The subject line is boring.
• The from name is a clunky email address instead of an actual name.
• The hyperlink is a clunky string instead of actual words.
• The font is inconsistent.
• The capitalization is random.
• The footer is as long as the email itself.
• The unsubscribe link is obnoxious.
• The email was sent at 7:38 p.m., when no one wants to think about the South Dakota Department of Revenue — including people who work at the South Dakota Department of Revenue.

…But my biggest issue is the fact that nowhere in the email does do***********@******sd.us encourage me to do anything (except to unsubscribe!).

I’m sorry, but “our newsletter is now available” is not enough to get me to click. Even if the content of your newsletter is actually exciting, and not a roundup of municipal tax rate changes.

At least the SD DOR is now using a bulleted list of newsletter highlights. 

(The text used to be simply, “The South Dakota Department of Revenue Summer Newsletter is now available at the DOR website link below. Thank you.”)

But even with a bulleted list… why should I care about a Legislative Recap? 🥱

The Fix: Convert Nouns to Verbs

Let’s rewrite some of these phrases to make them more actionable and engaging:

• “SD DOR Spring Newsletter” ➡️ “See exciting updates for SD business owners this spring”
• “Property Tax Bill Summary” ➡️ “Find out how the new property tax bill affects you”
• “dor-newsletter-spring-2025.pdf” ➡️ “Read the newsletter here!”

Bottom line: Don’t just list or link. Tell your audience what to do.

Here’s What You Can Do

Now, not that I am telling you what to do or anything… 

But if you’ve been thinking about hiring a copywriter who can tell your audience what to do — in, of course, an inviting, non-demanding tone — our books are now open. Fill out this form to request your custom video proposal.

(See how I did that?)